Bad chest tattoos

I think there is a trend of getting bad chest tattoos with bloody writing. Please tell me this isn't so, and it's just these three unfortunate dudes.


"All Hope Is Gone" -- not a very good thing to get when you're young (I cropped his face out of the photo, he looks like he is 17). Also what's the logo on the right? I assume these are bad lyrics of some sort.


"Blood Is Forever" -- I guess this is a way of celebrating family, but there is surely a much better way to do it. Also the bloody cracked Batman logo is an a+ addition there, buddy.


"Pull The Trigger Bitch" -- sdkjfhsdk I can seriously not think of a worse thing to get tattooed on your chest for all time. Do you think he will ever have sex with anyone ever again? I guess he'll just have to keep his shirt on indefinitely!

The Crow

I haven't gotten a tattoo in a year, and have been feeling the itch. I have an appointment for this upcoming Wednesday. I decided to get two big crows with lightning bolts, they'll probably on my ribs, unless I wuss out. It's kind of a memorial tattoo for my dad, but not totally. Anyway, I'll post pictures and you guys can feel free to make fun of them as much as you want. In anticipation of my appointment, I decided to do some looking around for terrible crow tattoos. I found a lot.

Full disclosure: I was really into The Crow when I was a teenager. Here's a photo of me being totally awesome when I was 13 or 14.

I don't have any ridiculous makeup on in that photo, but I definitely went to school made-up like the crow. The movie was filmed in my hometown (Wilmington, NC) and I went on a pilgrimage to see where Brandon Lee died. I listened to the soundtrack to the movie every day. I still really enjoy the movie. Regardless of my history with the movie, my crow tattoo idea has nothing to do with the movie The Crow. These people's tattoos do. There are so many sweet crow images out there, I don't know why they picked these out....

So here you go. Awful crow tattoos!


I think this crow is supposed to be on fire? It just looks blobby to me.


This is supposed to be the Crow logo, but it's not executed well...


This one too. Plus! Bonus barbed wire armband! I love seeing terrible versions of the same thing. (See my zombie jesus and wizard posts for more)


Crow mask + tribal + cross = goldmine!


Scarred Kanji + flaming crow = bigger goldmine!



I don't understand the spacing and sizing on this. It looks like the tattoos just got slapped on completely randomly. Also the little spritzes of red and yellow are a real nice touch. What is the black blob on the left? Can anyone tell?


skldfskdjf Brandon Lee does not look like that!


And he really, really does not look like this!!!

I hope you enjoyed this confessional edition of awful tattoos. Check back next week to make fun of my crow tattoo!

Bad straightedge tattoos volume one: text

I have a confession to make. I secretly love bad straightedge tattoos (maybe because I am straightedge? probably because they are just goofy). I actually secretly love all bad tattoos, that's why I do this blog. But I have a special soft spot in my heart for three x's that are stick-and-poked into someone's ankle. Many people get them, many people regret them later, but they are still awesome. These abominations, however, are not so awesome. Behold: the bad straightedge tattoos, volume one.


Bad font, bad linework, bad coloring, bad placement, just a generally bad idea.


Ditto! Only worse.


Why did he decide to put the text in a pool of water? I don't understand!


And finally- starship troopers straight edge dude. I have to admit this is actually pretty awesome, because I too love science fiction and not drinking. I hope this guy had a sense of humor about what he was doing, because that instantly turns this questionable tattoo into a hilarious and rad one.

If you have any regrettable edge tattoos (or any other kind of regrettable tattoo, for that matter) feel free to email me: alice@vivalavinyl.org.

When bad tattoos come full circle and become awesome

I bring you the most amazing collection of terrible tattoos that you could ever imagine. This fine young gentleman has agreed to let me post his awful tattoos and stories for your reading pleasure. Behold, the best bad tattoos in the world. They are so bad they are now officially AWESOME. I will let him explain in his own words:

My friend came down from Toronto to visit for a week or two. My roommate Tyson came home one night with about 3 friends, 2 cases of beer, a bottle of whiskey, a bottle of vodka, a tattoo machine, needles and ink. We all start drinking and hanging out and having a really good time, then one of his friends suggests we get the gun out and start setting it up.

Not a single person before this had ever held a tattoo gun.

We get the thing running, set the needles in place, put on gloves etc etc and begin to tattoo each other. (different needles, gloves, etc for each person, not totally sanitary but not extremely dirty) after about hour 3 of tattooing the absolute most ridiculous shit on each other we end up falling asleep. Wake up the next morning and most people had no recollection of what had happened and will forever be reminded about the night they forgot they got tattooed.

Here are mine:


I think in the corner there we have a straightedge pyramid with an eye, like on the dollar bill?


The guy with the muscle arms at the top was supposed to be a CUPCAKE, by the way. There is also a cat with butterfly eyes and a mustache dreaming of... something?

But wait... there's more!!!


I had just gotten to a friends house kind of late at night, she was watching an episode of that Housewives of Orange County and i walked in on the part of the show where one of their daughters had told the parents she had gotten a tattoo. They started flipping out wanting to know WHAT and WHERE it was. She finally shows them this butterfly about the size of a dime on her foot.

So... i asked "i wonder how pissed they would've been if she wouldve came home with a bunch of random bugs all over her feet?".




Getting tattoos based on an awful reality tv show is possibly the worst idea in the world, especially if they are weird stickerbook bugs on your FEET, but this is just so funny and bad that I think it's pure genius.

This guy is my new hero.

X Files Tattoos

I am the biggest fan of the X-Files EVER and in anticipation of the movie I Want To Believe coming out tonight, I posted about X-Files tattoos on Fun Vampires (my permanent home for bad tattoo postings).

Logos

These tattoos are like getting someone's name tattooed on you, except worse. I don't get it. If you really love video games, get some awesome video game characters tattooed on you. If you really love cars, get an awesome vintage car tattoo. If you really love movies, get a tattoo from your favorite movie. If you really love a particular brand of computer... ok, I don't know what to say to you. Getting a tattoo of a Dell computer would be more lame than their logo.

I can't even comment on these individually. But seriously. DELL? BUICK? What are these people thinking?

Bad as in Good

After all this trash talking, I thought I'd give you guys a break and prove that tattoos can indeed be totally awesome and rad and amazing. Sometimes "bad" is slang for "good", so this category is "Bad as in Good" and is here to give your eyes a rest every once in a while.

Penguin looks like Penguin and not overly zombified. This is a hard line to walk, but they got it!


This tattoo blew my mind the first time I saw it. I want it. I am so jealous.



Alex Ross Superman. This is so amazing.


sdf,jhsdfkjhsdkfhskj this dude! It's so cool that I am speechless.

Kurt Halsey fan tattoos

I think Kurt Halsey's drawings are unbearably twee and obnoxious, but I can see the appeal among the young and twee crowd. I knew there were people out there with tattoos based on his drawings but I had no idea there were so many! I figured most of them would be innocent little birds like the following (which is so cute it makes me want to puke, but I can understand it) :


But noooo. A ton of people went next level and got the little drawings with the little sayings about puppy love. How many of these people got matching tattoos at age 18 with their first boyfriend or girlfriend? A lot, I bet (I know for a fact a lot of the following are matching tattoos, but the first love thing is just conjecture). And that is kind of sad, because although I am by no means old or bitter, I am old enough and bitter enough to know that matching cutesy Kurt Halsey tattoos are a terrible, horrible, awful idea, and will almost surely be regretted a few years down the line.

The following are so gross and cutesy I can't even comment on them individually. The first one isn't even that well tattooed, but the rest are technically fine. It's just th idea that is so bad. Keep in mind that this is a small sampling of the inordinate amount of Kurt Halsey tattoos that are out there.

Star Wars

I bring you three wonky Darth Vaders, one zombie Leia, and an amazing back piece: